creating focus

Depression and Motivation

Its not very often that I write about my mental health on this blog these days.  To be honest I try to steer my thoughts towards goals, challenges and achievement as much as I can, as well as consider learning points and providing information for my readers.  Over the past few weeks however I have really been struggling to write, or even think in those terms.  I have sat staring at a blank screen hoping that inspiration will strike, only to find my head is as empty as the white page in front of me.

I guess most people who blog have this problem at least some of the time.  Its rather daunting to run out of things to say.

For me the emptiness is about more than the page in front of me right now.  I am struggling to speak at all, to move, to plan, to think.  Depression has taken over and turned my brain into an engine that refuses to run.  Its been weeks now, no doubt related to yet more health complications.  Its quite a consistent pattern for me to have health problems get in the way of my plans and I am so tired of it.  I don’t want to give in, and I don’t want my life to always be ruled by my health!

What can I do though?

Well I can either sit back and let it get in the way, or, if I am going to win this particular battle I need to get my passion back.  I need to get the engine running again, so today I am creating focus to fuel the fire.

Creating Focus

Its easy to assume that focus is something that you just have or have not got.  Lots of people think that focus, motivation and inspiration just appear from no-where, that those who have it are somehow blessed.  Its an assumption that holds so many people back though, as we sit around and wait for the right environment.

In my experience focus and motivation do not appear like magic, in fact the longer we wait the less likely they are to arrive.  Its like sitting around and waiting for lightning to strike a bit of wood to create fire.  There is a much higher chance of starting a fire if you do something to create focus and friction in the wood though…

Taking Action

The last thing I want to do right now is take action.  Even the words seem overwhelming.  Doing something though, no matter how small will help to create the first little bit of friction.  Todays action was to identify and complete 3 things I can do when I feel low.  The 3 things I came up with are:

  • Go for a walk.  Exercise of any kind is good to help improve mental health.
  • One thing that relates to my current goals.  Today I choose to make an extra payment off my mortgage, which relates to my increase assets goal.
  • Do something I have been procrastinating over.  Today I wrote this blog post instead of letting it go for another day without writing.

Reflection

Do I feel any better right now? No, I can’t say I do as yet.  From experience though I don’t need to feel better straight away, in fact expecting to feel better immediately by taking action is counter productive.  I could sit here and tell myself the action I took today was pointless, it did not fuel the fire at all, right? Well actually what I have done today is not pointless.  I may not feel any better yet…. just because I didn’t make any flames though does not mean it won’t be a little easier to light the fire tomorrow.

Despite feeling like doing nothing I still managed to do something productive.  I still did something that takes me closer to achieving my goals.  My health did not win the fight today and that means it does not rule my life.  I am in charge here and I will reach my goals because I refuse to stop working on them.

Have you found this post useful or inspiring? Do let me know your thoughts by commenting below or you can contact me directly if you prefer! 

Please feel free to share this post with others who might enjoy it too!

Ellie xx

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